The Becker Family

A comparison...

2012-01-31T12:43:00.000-08:00

Here I am at 28 weeks today...

And here I was at 27 1/2 weeks with Eva...

Same? Different? I can't really tell... the different perspectives don't help, I suppose...

Pregnancy Progression

2012-01-24T10:28:00.000-08:00

So here is our newest little one, just growing away. Well, I'm probably doing the most growing, but he's definitely getting bigger! Apparently it's been a month since I've taken a pregnancy photo, so I'll have to be fixing that sometime soon.

I hit 27 weeks today - beginning of the 3rd trimester! My due date is 3 months from today - April 24th. This little man is still enjoying all of the room he has to move around and changes positions by the minute. His favorite position seems to be something transverse, which I'm pretty sure is how Eva was too. He loves spending time up in my right ribs, which is making me a little nervous since I do still have 3 months to go and he's only going to get bigger! Neither of the girls liked my ribs, so we'll see how this one goes...

Christmas 2011

2011-12-18T21:49:00.000-08:00

Back in May, I thought that Christmas was going to be the last big hurrah before our sweet little one was born. I was due January 22nd, 2012, and since I always get induced early, I was planning to have that tree down on January 1st so that we could have a week or so to get the house back to normal and all set up for Baby. I was so looking forward to this Holiday season and how especially exciting it would be.

Setting up the tree a few weeks ago was so bittersweet. I thought I'd be planning to take it down with my belly about to pop, struggling to reach things and not fall into the tree because I'd be so big. But, God had other plans for us and our little Amara. She (he?) gets to celebrate this Christmas (and all the ones hereafter) in Heaven. How awesome is that for her? We think that hearing a choir of hundreds sing Handel's Messiah in a great big cathedral is awesome, but imagine how it pales in comparison to what Amara is hearing the angels sing. We have our little nativity sets that we put out at this time of year, but our sweet little one gets to look on the actual face of Jesus this year. It's so hard to be without her, but it is so comforting knowing that my child is enjoying blessings that I can only dream of for now. Christmas won't be quite as exciting for us in so many ways as we had hoped, but it's infinitely more exciting for Amara. We miss our baby and wish we were only 6 weeks from getting to meet her, but we know she is experiencing something so much better than what her big sisters, little brother, or dad and I will be experiencing for many years (Lord willing).

And, speaking of her little brother, we are so infinitely thankful that though we're still 4 months out from meeting our newest little one, we have him. God has added to our numbers. He is in our family, and we are so thankful for this and the prospect of meeting him soon. He is a living proof of the promises and the blessings of God that can sometimes be spoken of glibly during this holiday season. As Andrew said tonight, this has probably been the hardest year of our lives together, but also the most blessed. Two new little ones have joined our ranks, and we have strong hopes that we will be meeting one of them soon (and the promise of meeting the other when we get to Heaven). God has been kind, and we are eternally grateful for these kicks that I am feeling now.

Light and life to all He brings
Risen with healing in His wings
Mild He lays His glory by
Born that man no more may die
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth

Merry Christmas, little Amara!

Our Son!!

2011-12-07T16:23:00.000-08:00

We had our "big" ultrasound today - I really hate calling it the "gender ultrasound" because that's only a tiny bit of what it's all about, and if you've ever found out anything bad at a 20 week ultrasound you know that the main point is to make sure that there is a healthy, thriving baby in there. Getting a look between the legs and knowing whether to paint in pink or blue is just an added bonus. But I digress. :) So! At our BIG ultrasound today, we found out that our little one is growing like a weed and measuring a full week ahead! This is bigger than either of the girls ever were and maybe that's because "it" is a BOY! I was honestly shocked. At first glimpse I thought I saw girl, but then the tech moved the wand a bit and hello! that is definitely all boy! Totally shocked, but so so excited! As friends have already said, it serves me right for calling the poor guy a "she". :) So Little Man is growing well on all counts which is a huge relief to us. The only minor abnormality she could find were some small calcifications in his heart, but those usually go away before birth and aren't anything to worry about. But, we'll get another ultrasound in a couple of months just to make sure everything is good to go. Thanks again for ALL of your prayers - we are so excited to able to give such a positive update like this and are continually in awe that we have the blessing of being able to experience all of this again. God has been so good to us and we are so excited to meet our little man!

I forgot to mention - he had hiccups during the ultrasound and it was very fun seeing his little belly going up and down. :) He was also pretty active, but I'm still having a hard time feeling it all. Part of that is because the placenta is in front, masking some of the kicks and such.

Pathos

2011-12-02T21:54:00.000-08:00

While Andrew and I were sitting and watching TV tonight, we heard these plaintive cries coming from the girls' room:

Eva: Mom? Dad? I wanna come snuggle youuuu. Mooooom? I wanna come snuggle youuuuu! *insert pathetic whimpers here*

2 minutes later...

Bella: Mom? Dad? Eva and I want to come snuggle with you because our bed is too comfortable.
Eva: Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease????

Thanksgiving!

2011-11-23T17:45:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure I won't get around to posting anything tomorrow, so I'll do a Thanksgiving post tonight!

First and foremost, I am thankful that 8 years ago tonight Andrew proposed and I said yes. I thought he was pretty hot stuff back then, but now I just kind of sit back in awe. When he proposed, he was a sophomore in college studying for his bachelor's degree in Athletic Training. I signed up for this party planning to go as an AT-C's wife. Now, here I am, married to a Physician Assistant (PA-C), AT-C, and ..... *wait for it* ..... the very first Ambulance Based Clinician (ABC) in the state of Idaho. My husband is amazing, and God has blessed us richly.

Next comes my imaginative little 5 year old. It's been strange, adjusting to her being gone for three hours a day. This week I'm thankful to have her home with me where we can sit around all day in our jammies watching TV and playing. I never realized how much fun school vacations can be when you're a grown up!!

Now we come to my energetic 2 year old. It's been a rough week for her - she started out with a cough that then went to croup and now we're treating her for pertussis (no official diagnosis yet, but that's what it's kinda looking like). Today I am thankful that she seems to be improving and isn't coughing up a lung every five minutes. It's so hard to hear them in so much pain! [Right now she's hanging off of my back as Bella tries to "get" her - I love sisters!]

As odd as it may sound, I'm also thankful for a baby in Heaven. I'm thankful that I can know without a doubt that that's where our Amara is, and I am looking forward to the day when I get to meet him/her. I am thankful for the promises that were made clear to us in Amara's death and the multitude of ways in which God has shown us His grace and mercy in the months since we said goodbye.

And last but not least, I am thankful for my first rib jabs today from our newest little addition. Baby tends to stay lower, but as I was hunched over and painting my nails this afternoon I guess my ribs started invading Baby's space a bit and she let me know with a very distinct kick to the ribs. Silly little thing. :) She's been quite active all day, actually (maybe it's just those bones ossifying), and I've been getting lots and lots of fun little kicks and rolls all over. I can't wait till she "tastes" Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow - I'm sure it'll be a circus in there then!

I'm also thankful today for the energy (thank you 2nd trimester!) to put together my share of contributions to Thanksgiving dinner! This year we'll have Spiced Apple Cake with Eggnog Sauce, Pumpkin Cheesecake with Marshmallow-Sour Cream Topping and Gingersnap Crust, Cinnamon Palmiers, and Navan Chocolate Truffles for dessert and I'll also be making Garnet Yams with Maple Syrup and Maple-Sugar Streusel along with a big huge heaping bowl of creamy, make-it-up-as-you-go mashed potatoes. :) It'll be a feast! Happy Thanksgiving!

16 Weeks!

2011-11-07T20:24:00.000-08:00

While I'll technically be 16 weeks tomorrow, Baby is measuring a few days ahead so we'll jump the gun and just say 16 weeks for now. ;) Baby is looking very good and even gave us a little bit of a wave.

Baby's head is measuring the most ahead which is not surprising since the girls' heads were both measuring two or more weeks ahead by the time they were born. Looks like this one is right on track. We didn't get a good view of "what" it is because the umbilical cord was all bunched up between the legs and the legs were crossed, but we have another ultrasound at the beginning of December so hopefully we'll get a good view then. They were also able to verify that all of these Braxton Hicks contractions I'm having aren't doing anything, which is a huge relief. The longer we can postpone this from happening again, the better. The heart rate is remaining steady in the mid 150s and it is still such a sweet, sweet sound to hear. I'd like to write more, but it's been a loooong day so I'll sign off for now. Thanks for all of your continued prayers - the mean the world to us and God has been very kind!

Little Update

2011-10-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

Here's just a quick update on our tiniest family member. I'm now into my 14th week, so just entering the 2nd trimester and eagerly awaiting the increase in energy. We heard the heartbeat again last night and this morning, and while I've been feeling flutters so far I felt a good thump this afternoon, so we've got official movement now. My next ultrasound is in about two and a half weeks, so there's a slim chance that we may be able to get a glimpse of "what" this baby is which would be kinda fun. Then we can settle down on a name. :)

Heartbeats

2011-10-04T22:43:00.000-07:00

Andrew was able to borrow the doppler from work today so he brought it home and we were able to hear our sweet Baby #4's heartbeat, galloping along at a good strong 160. What a joy!

I remember one day, back at the end of June, just laying on the couch with Eva feeling her heart beat. After seeing Amara's still and silent heart, I had a new appreciation for the miracle that every beat is. Seeing and hearing the girls' heartbeats before they were born was fantastic and I even cried when we heard Eva's for the first time at 8 weeks, but I never had the opposite experience to compare it to. There is a term sometimes used for babies born after a miscarriage - they're called "rainbow babies". I think it's kind of a goofy term, but the sentiment is true. These are the babies that wouldn't be here without the darkness and the storm. The beauty of the rainbow can only be seen in its context and against the backdrop of heavy, saturated storm clouds. They're not any more important than "normal" babies, but they are an especially beautiful and merciful blessing in their context. We are still saddened by the death of our little Amara, but we are clinging to the promises of God as we continue to pray for this little one and thank Him for his many blessings to us.

Hearing a heartbeat tonight was wonderful and I think that as we near the end of the first trimester (I'm 11 weeks today) I am gradually becoming more and more at ease. Every little twinge still freaks me out, but not quite as much as they did a few weeks ago. I even went so far as to buy some new white onesies and newborn side-snap tees that were on clearance today at Wal-Mart. As the weather is cooling down I'm also starting to plan some knitting projects for this little one (Fall and Winter always inspire me to knit). I may as well go on record now and say that I'm thinking this will be another girl, considering that this pregnancy is feeling so very similar to the one I had with Eva. But then, we were convinced that Eva was a boy since it was so different from my pregnancy with Bella, so who knows, maybe we'll be proven wrong again. The only problem with another girl is that we're having a horrible time coming up with girl names. Bella, however, has been very helpful and suggested "Sugar Sparkle" and "Persephone Ladybug" the other night in a family name brainstorming session.

2011-10-03T11:17:00.001-07:00

This morning Bella said to me, "Mom, you know what I like about you? That you're having another baby." Thanks, kiddo.

Andrew A. Becker, PA-C, ATC, EMT-B/ABC

2011-09-29T12:14:00.000-07:00

I think that's all of the credentials that go after his name now, though I feel like I might be missing something. :) We found out this morning that Andrew passed his Physician Assistant National Certification Exam (PANCE) with flying colors (hence the "PA-C" after his name now). He scored an 800 out of 800, which as I understand it is based more on percentiles than on actual correct answers. So that means that while he didn't get every question right, the number of questions that he did get right placed him in the 99th percentile, which gives him a score of 800. I'm really not sure if I could be more proud of this guy than I am today. :) He starts work bright and early on Monday morning and we are so excited to make this final and official transition from PA student to practicing PA. God has been so kind to us and we are so humbled to see His great and glorious blessings in our lives!

Food.

2011-09-25T18:41:00.000-07:00

Heaven for me right now would be pregnancy with no food budget to adhere to (and of course a guaranteed healthy baby and mommy, but that's kind of a given). I'm definitely in that "most everything sounds gross" stage, and even when I figure out something that sounds good (tonight it was nachos), there are no promises that it will still sound good by the time we sit down to eat it. So I had about 5 bites of nachos and then had to push my plate away. It's kind of an annoying problem, but one I am still very thankful to have. I had the same problem when I was pregnant with Eva, and remember very distinctly one evening making this wonderful fall soup that sounded delicious, but by the time I got it to the table I couldn't stomach it. So, Andrew did the same thing that he did tonight - he sent me to get whatever I wanted at the Co-op!

It's hard to not find something appetizing at our local food co-op. I usually get some sort of tasty veggie salad from the deli (cucumber, kale, something like that), but I got there a little too late tonight. So tonight's basket consisted of some gigantic peaches, some tasty looking organic apples, three kinds of cheese (a blue, an Idaho gouda, and a maple cheddar), and some new sort of agave soda with mandarin and key lime flavoring. Fruit has sounded good pretty regularly lately and it's hard to go wrong with a good cheese, so I figured I was safe with these things. I would love to be able to keep my kitchen stocked with stuff like this every day, but our monthly food budget would probably be blown in two weeks if I did that! This is seriously the biggest treat for me during pregnancy, and Andrew knows it! So now I'm just waiting for my soda to chill and for my appetite to come back so I can enjoy these yummy foods!

Testing Day!

2011-09-23T11:46:00.000-07:00

Andrew is currently up in Spokane taking The Test. His PA certification exam is today! So if you have a minute, please pray for him! The last 4 years have been building up to this moment, so it's a big one! We should find out the results at the end of next week, and hopefully he can add PA-C (Physician Assistant Certified) at the end of his name (to his already long list of credentials!). Thanks, everybody!

Worth It.

2011-09-22T13:50:00.000-07:00

Here is a great little video that pretty much captures how I hope to feel in about 7 months.

I started my own injections two nights ago and they're going well - better than I think they did when I started them with Eva. For a run down on the injections and why I take them, go here.

As odd as it may seem, I was more on the verge of tears when I was picking up my heparin at the pharmacy than when we had our ultrasound on Monday. An easy explanation could be that I was totally prepared for the emotions associated with the ultrasound, while a trip to the pharmacy should just be a routine errand, but I forgot about what it meant - it meant I was carrying another little Becker inside of me. I don't know - maybe that was it. It could also be because I never got to the point of taking heparin with Amara, and it seems kind of like a milestone. We had planned to announce our pregnancy with Amara by posting a picture of my new medical alert necklace and saying that it was my new favorite piece of jewelry for the next 7 months, but instead I wrote this post.

Maybe the heparin is so "special" to me because it reminds me of my pregnancy with Eva which was just such a sweet time - we had tried for so long and were just over the moon ecstatic to have her preparing to enter into our lives. Heparin is also a twice daily proactive thing that I get to do to keep my babies (and myself, but more for the babies) healthy and give them a fighting chance. I have no doubt that the constant prayers are more helpful than the heparin could ever be, but it's nice to do something for them.

So yay for needles. :) And yay for getting to wear medical alert jewelry. And a super big yay for this tiny little thing growing inside of me who makes it all so very very worth it.

8 wks 6 days!

2011-09-19T16:34:00.000-07:00

We had our appointment this morning and everything went really well! Becker Baby #4 is measuring right on at 8 wks 6 days and showed us a great steady heartbeat and even a little movement. It was such a comforting thing to see and we are so thankful and blessed that today was not a repeat of our last OB confirmation appointment. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!

Appointment Tomorrow!

2011-09-18T20:23:00.001-07:00

In just a little over 12 hours we have our first real prenatal visit, which should include another ultrasound! Please pray with us that everything will look good and we will have good news to report tomorrow!

7 Weeks

2011-09-07T15:55:00.000-07:00

Oh, give thanks to the Lord of lords!
For His mercy endures forever:
To Him who alone does great wonders,
For His mercy endures forever;
Psalm 136:3&4

We had our first ultrasound yesterday and everything looked wonderful! We could see Baby's heartbeat fluttering away at a very steady 135-140 beats per minute, and while she/he was measuring 2 or 3 days behind we're not too worried about that as there is a tiny bit of a question as to the accuracy of my dates. The ladies were extremely gracious and let us spend lots of time soaking in the beauty of that heartbeat, and then they even recorded and put it on continuous playback on the screen while we finished up the paperwork for the appointment. :) They also gave us a virtual stack of of pictures, though most of them just look like a blob of grey in a bigger blob of black. :) Babies are not usually very photogenic at this age. :) But here is a bunch of wavy black lines that show that our baby is alive and well!

You can kind of make out the circle at Baby's "feet" that is the yolk sac, but that's about it. We should be getting another ultrasound in about two weeks, so hopefully that one will show us a beautiful beating heart again and some cute arms and legs!

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us, and please keep it up! We're far from out of the woods! And even though yesterday was reassuring, I still have that lingering reminder that Amara's ultrasound would likely have looked just as good as this at 7 weeks. So please keep us in your prayers - pray that God would continue to shower us with mercy and blessings, that we would be calm and trust Him through all of this regardless of the outcome, and that we would be able to hold this baby in our arms, pink and screaming, come April.

Cutting the Strings

2011-08-22T12:36:00.000-07:00

You know how when two people are apart, time always seems to go by more quickly for the one who is "away"? Whether they're off at camp, or at a conference, or vacationing, the one in a new place always seems to get it easy. But when you're the one staying put, life can get a bit boring, and a little sad sometimes.

This morning, just a half an hour ago, we cut the apron strings. Bella went "away" to school, and Eva and I are staying put here at home. I'm sure Bella is already having a great time (especially since she gets to sit by her good buddy Ophelia), and Eva is actually already asleep, but I'm sitting here feeling a little, well, lonely! She's off learning the ropes of the classroom, and I'm here adjusting to these three hours at home without her. This is obviously a huge step in growing up for her, but I think it's also a big step for me in "mommyhood". I feel more like a mom today than I have any other day for the past six years. I have a child in school. Don't you have to be old to have a kid in school? Am I really old? Obviously I'm not that old (I suppose most people my age don't even have kids, let alone kindergarteners), but I definitely feel more "grown up". I can't even imagine what it will be like on the day that our youngest starts school, whenever that will be.

The stage of my life where I stayed home with all my kids all day long is now over, and I'm in the stage that involves carpooling, assemblies, parent teacher conferences, class plays, and pink slips for classroom disobedience. This will definitely take some getting used to. In the meantime, I think I'll go make some cookies or something for when Bella comes home.

Becker Baby #4!

2011-08-21T14:48:00.000-07:00

I love the LORD, because He has heard
         My voice and my supplications.
Because He has inclined His ear to me,
         Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.

The pains of death surrounded me,
         And the pangs of Sheol laid hold of me;
         I found trouble and sorrow.
Then I called upon the name of the LORD:
         “O LORD, I implore You, deliver my soul!”

Gracious is the LORD, and righteous;
         Yes, our God is merciful.
The LORD preserves the simple;
         I was brought low, and He saved me.
Return to your rest, O my soul,
         For the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.

What shall I render to the LORD
         For all His benefits toward me?
I will take up the cup of salvation,
         And call upon the name of the LORD.
I will pay my vows to the LORD
         Now in the presence of all His people.

Precious in the sight of the LORD
         Is the death of His saints.

O LORD, truly I am Your servant;
         I am Your servant, the son of Your maidservant;
         You have loosed my bonds.
I will offer to You the sacrifice of thanksgiving,
         And will call upon the name of the LORD.

I will pay my vows to the LORD
         Now in the presence of all His people,
In the courts of the LORD’s house,
         In the midst of you, O Jerusalem.

         Praise the LORD!

-Psalm 116, 1-7, 12-19

I honestly never thought that I would be writing a post like this so closely on the heels of the memorial I wrote for our precious little Amara. But, God delights in surprising us and heaping the greatest blessings on our heads when we feel at our lowest. We found out last Tuesday that we are pregnant again! And trust me, I don't think anyone is more in awe of this than Andrew and I! We were given the go ahead from our doctor to start trying again right away, but after the more than two years that it took us to get pregnant with Eva we never thought that we would be the couple who manages to get pregnant so fast. So needless to say, I was in complete shock when I saw this!

Obviously, we are far from out of the woods with this one. We've even had some signs that could indicate an impending miscarriage, but I've had my hormone levels checked and things are looking pretty good as far as that goes. But, this is certainly a very guarded kind of excitement. We are painfully aware of the fact that there are no guarantees in pregnancy - our scars are still very, very fresh. So why are we announcing this when I'm not even 5 weeks along?

After Amara's death, our conviction that babies are babies no matter what size they are was only strengthened. Of course we always believed that unconditionally, but after having experienced the very short life of one of these precious babies, it hit home in a brand new way. So, today we're announcing to the world our fourth child. Praise God! No matter what happens in the coming weeks or months, we are a family of six, and delighted to be so. We don't know yet which sibling this baby will meet first, Amara or Bella & Eva? But either way, he or she will be with our family and it will blessed by God. What more can we ask for?

We're also announcing this one early because we covet your prayers. We really covet your prayers. As exciting as this all is, it is extremely terrifying as well. Every day is its own long journey to get through, and we are thankful at the end of every day that this sweet child is still with us. Some moments we are just elated beyond belief, and in others I am paralyzed with fear. I couldn't even call the lab on Friday to get the results from my blood draw because I was so terrified that it would be bad news, so I asked Andrew to call for me. Fortunately the results were very good, and so the tears started all over again, this time from joy. But please, pray for us whenever you see us, whenever you think of us, and any other chance you get in between! Rejoice with us in the new life of this little one as you grieved with us in the death of our sweet Amara, and please pray that we would trust God and that He would preserve the life of this baby.

Deep in unfathomable mines

Of never failing skill

He treasures up His bright designs

And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;

The clouds ye so much dread

Are big with mercy and shall break

In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,

But trust Him for His grace;

Behind a frowning providence

He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,

Unfolding every hour;

The bud may have a bitter taste,

But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err

And scan His work in vain;

God is His own interpreter,

And He will make it plain.

-William Cowper

The ol' Bait and Switch

2011-08-09T15:48:00.000-07:00

Eva:   Mom, I want yurt.

Me:   What?

Eva:   Mom, I want yurt! Have some yurt! I want some yurt!

Me:   I don't know what you're saying, sweetie.

Eva:   I want some yurt!

Me:   Do you mean you want some yogurt?

Eva:   Yes! Yurt!

Me:   Okay, I'll give you some yogurt.

Eva:   No, I want pizzsa.

Bronchiolitis

2011-08-05T09:57:00.000-07:00

Our little Eva spent the night in the hospital on Wednesday because of a nasty little lung infection. We're all home and happy now, but she was pretty miserable there for a while.

She had had a cold for about a week, and then on Tuesday it started to turn into a cough. By Wednesday evening she was lethargic, feverish, and had some wheezing when Andrew checked her out so he took her into the ER just to be safe. They did a chest x-ray and gave her a steroid shot and albuterol which helped a bit. At this point she was diagnosed with Bronchiolitis.

Andrew said that she didn't even cry when they put in her IV, she just said, "that hurts" in a very pathetic little voice. I love the pink camo tape that they used to keep everything on - only in Idaho!!

My mom came over to stay at our house while Bella slept so that I could go in to the hospital too. I got there around 10:30 and we gave her another albuterol treatment with the nebulizer. We were admitted and Andrew headed home around 12:30 in the morning to get some sleep. We finally finished admission paperwork around 2 a.m. and Eva and I managed to get some sleep on and off over the next 4 hours. We had another nebulizer treatment in the morning and she started to perk up a bit. Andrew brought Bella over around 8:30 and they had breakfast with us. We saw Dr. Henry again and decided on a treatment plan, and then Andrew had to head to work.

The rest of the day was spent trying to keep Eva happy while confined to her hospital room. The nurses brought in some toys which helped, as did the TV with PBS for most of the morning. If I haven't said it before, I have to mention how wonderful our hospital is. They always take such great care of us and do a fantastic job of making an exhausting experience more than bearable. It's also nice to know so many people there - the nurse who treated Eva in the ER is a paramedic on the ambulance crew with Andrew, our day nurse was a softball coach at Moscow High when Andrew was an Athletic Trainer there, and of course there was everybody who knew us as "Marcia-in-Pharmacy's daughter and grandbabies". I love small town hospitals!!

We even had a fun little fire alarm while we were there, so the girls got to see Engine 26 and the ambulance outside our windows.

Eva wasn't too keen on eating anything, even though I ordered everything off of the menu that I thought she would like. Lunch consisted of grapes, a few bites of Jell-O and some AppleJacks in front of the TV with her new "frog" stuffed animal from the hospital.

We got to come home at 1:30 on Thursday afternoon, which was not a moment too soon for little Eva. She was getting very restless and was only happy when she was walking the halls with me. As soon as we got home we all crashed and Eva and Bella both slept for about 3 hours (I slept for a good 2 hours of that!). Our good friend Shawna let us borrow their nebulizer so that we didn't have to rent our own and so Miss Eva is getting her albuterol treatments 4 times a day now. She was very kind to us and slept for 7 hours straight last night so that we could all get some much needed rest.

This morning she is back to her normal self except for the occasional hacking cough. The girls are currently dressed up as Belle and Sleeping Beauty and enjoying some Cat in the Hat via Netflix. Praise God for healthy babies and thank you for all of your prayers!

Decent.

2011-07-20T13:02:00.000-07:00

This morning Bella told me that she wanted to look just like me when she grew up. I though that was very nice and then I told her that she would look a little like her Daddy too, at which point she started crying. I thought that was very funny.

This afternoon at lunch Bella told me that I look decent, "and that means you don't look too bad!". I'm not sure where the change in perspective came from, but I'm guessing that there is a limit to how long I can stay in my pajamas in the morning. I still look lovely in them for breakfast, but if I'm still wearing them at lunch time I only look "decent".

Almost There!

2011-07-09T13:26:00.000-07:00

A lot of fun little things have happened in the past two and a half weeks, but none of them seemed adequately important to bump Amara's post down the page. This, however, is a very exciting post that is important enough to begin posting with again.

This week we got Andrew's cap and gown and master's hood in the mail, and we realized how very close we are getting. We're down to 48 days until graduation, and he only has 25 working days left in his family practice rotation. 3 1/2 years ago we were eagerly awaiting our acceptance letter that didn't come. Almost 3 years ago we finally got accepted. Weren't we just at 563 days till graduation? 531 days? 500 days? 444 days? 379 days? 296 days? 200 days? In a lot of ways it's hard to believe that we are so close.

As I was waiting in the exam room for my doctor two and a half weeks ago, I marveled at the fact that Andrew is the one who people wait in exam rooms for now. I was sitting there, waiting for my doctor to come in and give me answers that would change my life, one way or another. I'd been waiting for my appointment for six weeks, and it was finally here and I was going to get answers. I marveled at the fact that my husband is now on the other side of this relationship - he doesn't do the waiting for answers that I do, but rather the providing of answers. People wait for my husband to tell them what is wrong with them, and while we've been working toward this for years now, I am still blown away by it sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to puff him up or demand that people treat him as all knowing or anything, but rather I'm trying to remind myself of how far we've come. It's a reality check and a reminder for me. It's such a sobering thought.

People complain of doctors thinking that the M.D. is actually an M.Deity, and I'll certainly admit that there are ridiculously pompous men and women out there who think they are medical gods (just like there are plumbers and pianists who think the same thing - practitioners are human with personality flaws just like everyone else). But, the good ones are staggered by their responsibilities and take them quite seriously. People think that practitioners wear the fancy white coats to show off, but just like in the ministry, the ones who wear their robes rightly are the ones who wear them as a symbol of the gravity of their responsibility, rather than a crown of accomplishment. They are offering themselves up to those under their care as someone who is promising to give them their all in helping them with whatever ails them. It's a huge responsibility, and nothing to get snooty about. We can give them honor (and we should), but we should also thank them for taking on such a great and sobering responsibility that most of us would never want to have. It's not all golf, twice yearly trips to Hawaii, and fancy pharmaceutical dinners. It's treating chronic debilitating illnesses, dealing with patients who won't take the meds or stop the bad habits that will save their lives, and telling people that they have weeks or months to live. It's telling a woman that the much anticipated baby within her womb has died. This is not an easy, cushy calling.

It's fun to think about no more tests, no more papers, and no more student loans. But now we're beginning the culmination of it all - the actual practice of it. He has all the tools, and now he will begin to put them to use as a professional. We are so so proud of how far he has come and all that he has accomplished so far. But now the real work will begin.

Omni cui multum datum est, multum quaeretur ab eo.

Amara Christian Becker

2011-06-23T19:30:00.000-07:00

"Could we hear our children speaking to us out of heaven, they would say, 'Weep not for us who are happy; we lie upon a soft pillow, even in the bosom of Christ. The Prince of Peace is embracing us and kissing us with the kisses of His lips. Be not troubled at our preferment... You are in the valley of tears, but we are on the mountain of spices. We have gotten to our harbor, but you are still tossing on the waves of inconsistency.' " -Thomas Watson, The Art of Divine Contentment

Yesterday we began to grieve the death of our third child, Amara Christian Becker. He was with us for a seemingly short while, but the impact of his death will remain with us forever. We do not grieve a loss, because we have not lost her. Rather, we grieve a delay in the day when we will be able to hold her and rejoice with her. We will never hover over him as he works to take his first steps next winter, but we rest in the comfort that he is already walking with God in heaven, and for this we are endlessly grateful. We will never get to hear her first words, but she is already singing praises in heaven that put Handel's Hallelujah chorus to shame. I will never get to hold him in my arms and smell his sweet baby skin, but he is being cradled by the arms of our Father, whose love is perfect and far surpasses what our own could ever be. We named our child Amara, which means unfading and eternal, and Christian, which means follower of Christ and is also a family name.

This is not a private loss to us. This is not "retained products of conception". This is the loss of our son or daughter, a Child of God, made in His image. We invite our friends, family, and church body to grieve with us, as we have grieved with you in your losses and rejoiced with you in your blessings. Our eyes are red and puffy, but we do not despair. We do not weep for our baby, because our baby has been blessed. We weep for our own loss, the end of the dreams that we had for our child here on Earth. We weep because we just have to wait that much longer to see our precious little one. God has not abandoned us, but rather He is drawing us closer to Him in this.

I went in for my first appointment and after getting reacquainted with my doctor, he began the ultrasound to confirm that everything was going well. As he began to sweep the wand across my belly, I caught my first glimpse of our baby. I had been nervous already about the appointment, so seeing the baby was comforting. Then he took a measurement of the baby, and she was small. She was smaller than Eva had been at her 8 week appointment, and this one was supposed to be 9 1/2 weeks. He spent a few more minutes in silence looking around, and I could tell that the baby was small and wasn't moving. He then asked when I had gotten my first positive pregnancy test, and at that point my worst fears were confirmed. Our baby was measuring two weeks behind, and he could not find a heartbeat. He spent about 20 minutes with me talking about it, going over our options, answering questions, and giving comforting advice. I was very thankful to have the same doctor who had delivered Eva and who is a Christian and could share in our grief and our comfort.

I would like to take a second to thank our family and close friends who have stood by us and prayed with us over the past two days, but particularly my amazing husband. Andrew's attitude, sacrifice, and constant attention have always served to make my post-partum period an absolute dream for me, and he has been an incredible blessing in this situation as well. While some husbands would hide their pain and pretend to brush it off, leaving me to grieve alone, Andrew has supported me and grieved with me and prayed with me. After all, Amara was his child just as much as she was mine. I am so thankful to God for providing me with a husband who so wonderfully models the unconditional love and care of our Heavenly Father.

Our sweet baby was greeted by aunts and uncles, great grandparents, and other children who would have been friends and classmates in heaven who have gone before us. Our child is surrounded by family and resting in the arms of God.

If Only.

2011-06-16T17:33:00.000-07:00

I told Bella to go clean her room and she came out a few minutes later and asked, "Mom, is it okay if I play in my room instead of clean it?" to which I replied, "How about you do both? Find the fun and snap the job's a game!", using all of my hard earned Mary Poppins wisdom. Bella countered with, "But Mom, the things won't lift up!" Ah, too true, child, too true.

Such Sincerity.

2011-06-15T15:17:00.000-07:00

As I was putting an end to the "fill-up-the-milk-jug-with-laundry-soap" game just now, I laughed and told Eva that she was nothing but trouble. She looked at me in all seriousness and said, "Oh. Sorry, Mom."

Young Love

2011-06-04T08:28:00.000-07:00

Bella: Mom, when I see Simon next time I will tell him that I love him because he loves me too.

Me: Oh really? Did he tell you he loves you?

Bella: No....

Me: Well, you shouldn't assume things like that, sweetie. And you should really wait till you're much older and you find a boy who daddy likes and you've gone on lots of dates with him before you tell him you love him.

Bella: Oh alright. I guess we'll have to go to Red Lobster and then I'll tell him that I love him.

Zombies!

2011-06-01T17:50:00.001-07:00

"Mom, you have to come see my room, and my latest invention! There's zombies and everything!!"

2 Big Girls

2011-05-27T11:28:00.000-07:00

This switch happened a number of months ago, but I think it's still worth mentioning. Both girls are now in their little matching twin beds with matching sheet sets and duvets (topped with choice blankets made by Mom and Grandma), and it's all incredibly cute. Eva looks so tiny and Bella looks so big.

I found the beds on craigslist last summer and sanded them down and painted them. The paint color was named "Scarlet Letter" which I thought very funny for toddler beds! The paint sample looked a lot more crimson but when it first went on the beds I renamed it "Barbie Pink" because, really, it was blinding! But it's mellowed out a bit to a more tame magenta-ish color and it works for them.

Eva did really well for the first few months with being in a big girl bed, but I think since she turned two a week ago she hasn't had one naptime or bedtime without some frequent admonitions to stay in her bed. It's quite the challenge for Andrew and I because the kid is just so darn cute and can stick out her lower lip like no one's business. But she's starting to get the hang of it and we hope to be problem free again here in a week or so.

Busy busy busy....

2011-05-16T12:56:00.000-07:00

We've been busy busy busy here lately, mostly because I've relaunched my landscape design business and Andrew's beautiful sister got married last weekend down in Oregon. I'm actually supposed to be working on a design right now, but I thought I'd just pop in and show you this 5 month old picture of how bad my girls are at the idea of moderation when it comes to clothing. Bella couldn't even stick with one set of shoes, she had to have shoes from two different pairs.

Teddy Bear Clinic

2011-04-15T10:08:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, Grandma took the girls to the Teddy Bear Clinic at Gritman Medical Center where she works. I think they do this every two years, and this is Bella's third time going. They get to tour the hospital and see all the different departments and there are teddy bears getting treated throughout the hospital for them to see. They bring their own teddy bears who get bandaids and hospital bracelets and they even get to go to the Family Birth Center to see any of the new babies who may be at the Nurse's Station (this was particularly fun for Bella two years ago when she went just a month before Eva was to be born). Here's a photo from Gritman of Grandma with the girls in one of the rooms...

At one of the stations in the hospital the kids were educated on proper dietary practices, and in their case it means "eating the rainbow". This obviously (to me) means eating lots of fruits and vegetables and other such colorful stuff, which is great. However, they were apparently not very clear when educating our young ones because this morning as Bella was eating her Fruit Loops she said, "Mom! Look! I'm eating the rainbow!"

"Yes?"

2011-04-08T12:27:00.000-07:00

I kinda feel like we should have a caption contest for this one.

Our Girls.

2011-03-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

We kinda like them.

"Where do you guys live?!"

2011-03-10T09:37:00.001-08:00

We seem to have been getting this question a lot lately, even from close friends and family members. We find it rather amusing that we are able to keep people so confused with our comings and goings between Moscow and Spokane!

While we have maintained a permanent address in Moscow now for six months, we did spend the past 5 weeks back up in Spokane while Andrew completed his behavioral medicine (psych) rotation and the first half of his two week endocrinology rotation. Instead of moving all of our stuff up there (which would have been ludicrous!!), we chose to rent a two bedroom furnished apartment in the basement of a large house out in the country just to the west of Spokane. We stayed there Monday-Friday and came home on the weekends (much like last year when we lived up there!). It worked out quite well, despite the fact that the girls and I were cooped up inside during the days without a car. That got a little old. But the girls enjoyed it because we had TV (lots of Sesame Street, Sid the Science Kid, and Word World!) and they got to look out the windows and see these every day!

That was very exciting for them, and every time they would get up in the morning or after their naps, they would run to the windows and look for the horses. There were actually six of them, and I believe Bella named them all.

We enjoyed some wintery weather while we were up there, and seeing the landscape go from brown (with a little "light brown" and "dark brown" thrown in here and there) to stark white in a matter of hours. Here's a little time lapse series out our kitchen window...

The last one is late at night, hence the funny coloring. This of course resulted in some fun times in getting out of the typically-long-out-in-the-sticks-driveway that we had.

Andrew said the snow was up to our bumper when he got outside in the morning. Thank goodness for 4WD!! We had so much snow that it filled up the window wells and half covered our bedroom windows...

We did, however, have some fantastic views of Mt. Spokane. Hey, if you're stuck inside all day in the snow, you might as well have something like this to look at, right?!

It was a fun time and we were all very very happy to be able to be together while Andrew was in Spokane. He's pretty sure he would have gone crazy himself if he'd had to survive the psych wards and then come home to an empty hotel room every night.

This week is Andrew's last week in endocrinology and he's been staying on a friend's couch while the girls and I have been back home in Moscow (the apartment wasn't available this week, and we wouldn't have been able to afford it if it was!). He gets to come home tonight and next week is Spring Break which we are all very much looking forward to. Then he will have a month long rotation at the hospital in Pullman and then his four month family practice rotation and we're done! All done! And since graduation is coming quickly, Andrew is starting to get a little more serious about job searching in the area. Please pray that we'll be able to find something local with decent enough hours and a good salary! We're really looking forward to being able to get into a stable job that won't involve moving, drastically changing schedules from month to month, or painful 6 week stints in Seattle! It will be so nice to settle into a more predictable routine soon.

SO. To answer the constant question...we live in Moscow. And we hope to for many years to come!!

Poor baby.

2011-03-02T08:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes being sick can be very exhausting. So exhausting in fact that you have to take a mid-lunch nap.

Cutie Pie

2011-03-01T07:38:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you just can't look at this kid without smiling.

Bella

2011-02-28T09:43:00.000-08:00

She's growing up fast.

The Pooch.

2011-02-25T13:02:00.000-08:00

I love how she looks like an old man with her open robe loosely tied below her baby beer belly.

Cutie Pie

2011-02-16T07:46:00.000-08:00

Here's Eva being a trooper and modeling the cold weather wear that I knit up for her this winter.

200!

2011-02-05T14:09:00.000-08:00

Look over there in the sidebar! We're down to 200 days!

Her words.

2011-02-03T10:00:00.000-08:00

Eva has a very blossoming vocabulary. Here are some of the things that our little 20 month old says now.

"What doing?"

"Down/Up/More/Book/Blankie/Baby/Milk/Water, please"

"Thank you, ________ (Mama, Daddy, Bella)"

"Please, ________ (Mama, Daddy, Bella)"

"Yes Sir/Ma'am/Mama/Daddy"

"What's that?"

"No touch"

"I'm tired"

"Where's Daddy/Mama/Bella?"

"Bella" is also interchangeable with "Sister"

"All done"

"Bye bye!"

"Love you!"

"Scotty" tends to sound like "Cotty", and "Grandma/Grandpa" come out as "Papanee"

Her other words are buckle, hands, shoes, boots, dress, dance, pretty, excited, sorry, poopy, diaper, potty, brush, hair, pray, amen, bread, & Christ.

She also knows some friends' names, particularly Chloë, Harper, and Bess.

We really have to give at least half of the credit to Bella because she is constantly teaching Eva new words. She points things out to Eva (like a picture in a book, for example) and says, "Eva, that's a pig. Can you say 'pig', Eva?" and then they go back and forth saying "pig". Eva also learned her "Yes Ma'am/Sir" etc. from Bella, but as soon as we heard her saying it we held her to it and she's been doing wonderfully.

Oregano Muffins

2011-02-02T17:57:00.001-08:00

Nope. Not a weird recipe. Bella just asked us what an "oreganomuffin" is. She of course misheard us calling her sister a ragamuffin.

2010-12-27T08:00:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure there's nothing in Emily Post about where to set the radio in relation to the juice glasses, but it's a regular part of our table setting. :)

Snow!

2010-12-26T08:00:00.000-08:00

Here's the snow from a few weeks ago. Eva's first time playing out in the snow!I love the little waddling toddler footprints next to Daddy's footprints.

Here's Bella's snow angel on top of the tv cables. We call the planter outside our living room window the "Dish Planter" because there are three satellite dishes but no plants.

Lewiston Lights

2010-12-24T08:00:00.000-08:00

We took a trip down to Lewiston a few weeks ago to hit Costco and check out the lights at Locomotive Park. The girls loved it and especially loved the hot chocolate and cookies they had!

Admiration

2010-12-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

We had some friends over a few weeks ago and tried to get pictures of all the kids together. It was kind of difficult, considering that the girls kept admiring the cute little guy! Poor Anthony was ignored for a younger man. But honestly, who can resist those chubby cheeks?!?

5th Birthday Party

2010-12-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

We didn't get many pictures of the rest of Bella's party, but here are some pictures of the cake. Bella requested a rainbow cake with lots of flowers. It took many hours, but this is what we ended up with and I think we were both pretty pleased.

Christmas Tree!

2010-12-21T08:00:00.000-08:00

We love our huge concolor firs from Woodbury's! Sometimes we get them a little too big. Whoops.

Christmas Cookies

2010-12-20T08:00:00.000-08:00

I'll let you guess which ones Bella decorated and which ones I did. :)

Thanksgiving.

2010-12-17T08:00:00.000-08:00

We hosted Thanksgiving this year and I have to say that I love having an apartment in Moscow where we can more comfortably fit our fully extended dining room table while still having a place to sit after the feast! We enjoyed hosting and were glad to have the chance to bless our family with a great feast, especially after all that they have done for us in the past year. We are quite sure that we would not be where we are without their extreme generosity which has come in so many forms.

I forget about the camera once the preparation gets hectic, but here are some shots of the earlier baking results. Cornbread for the stuffing, and pecan praline tart and apple pie for dessert.

Andrew's 28th!

2010-12-16T08:00:00.000-08:00

Andrew turned 28 back in November and I made this Chocolate Stout cake for him. It's chocolate and beer - how can you go wrong?! It is super decadent and moist. This is my idea of a perfect chocolate cake. I'm also a huge fan of the simple ganache icing. Again, chocolate and heavy cream - how can you go wrong?! After it was thoroughly chilled and set I shined it up with my kitchen torch to give it a high gloss.

Halloween

2010-12-15T08:00:00.000-08:00

Bella went as a "ballnerina" and Eva was a goldfish, just like Bella three years ago.
We had fun with face paint and body jewels to enhance the costumes this year.

This was Bella's pumpkin. She drew on the face (with one very large eye and one very small one), and Andrew carved it for her.
Here are their goody bags. I found the tutorial on the Purl Bee site.

Fall at the Arboretum

2010-12-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

First of all, wow, it's been over a month! In order to keep things straight, I'll try to update in order. Here's some pictures from an excursion we took to the U of I arboretum back in October. I'm so happy to be back in Moscow where we can enjoy our lovely little arboretum.

I tried to get pictures of the girls together. It didn't happen.

They thought it would be better to throw leaves on each other.

So I decided to stick with the vegetative life. These are clematis seed heads.

Grape vines.

With grapes!

Hops are probably my favorite vine. Unfortunately, last time I checked it was illegal to sell them in Idaho - something about being a noxious weed. They're fast growing, a beautiful green, and have lovely flowers. Not to mention their contribution to beer. ;) What's not to love?

I have no clue what this is, but it's cool!

And last but not least, hazelnuts!

Five Years!

2010-12-14T02:15:00.000-08:00

Today our firstborn turns 5. Before I go to pictures, let me present a few numbers. Today is Bella's 1,826th day out and about, which means that it is also my 1,826th day as a mother. That just seems amazing to me - amazingly short! Really? Only that many days? I guess I just can't remember the roughly 8,320 days of my life when I wasn't a mom. What was THAT like? Also, Bella is now roughly a quarter of the way through her life here at home with us. We are a quarter of the way "done" raising her. While some would argue that the majority of the raising is done in the early years and others would argue that you're never actually done, we'll just even it out and say that we'll be done when she's about 20 and we're already a quarter of the way there. That also means though that we're a quarter of the way to the time when our role will change (Lord willing) from "mostly just parents" to "mostly just friends". I look forward to that and pray that what we're doing now will make that time especially sweet.

Now for the pictures and actual birthday stuff. Five years ago today...

4 years ago...

3 years ago...

2 years ago...
1 year ago...
And today...

More pictures of this year's birthday party to come in a few days. Happy Birthday to our big girl!!

Happy News!

2010-11-09T06:15:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to Andrew's sister, Ammy, and her new fiance Eric! The girls will now have to learn to call him Uncle Eric. Last night when Bella got to talk to Ammy on the phone her first question was, "Why are you getting married?" and her second question was "What are you going to name your kids?" She knows what it's all about!

Perspective

2010-11-02T16:36:00.000-07:00

If you are tired of hearing me talk about how amazing I think my husband is, you should probably not read any further.

I warned you.

After 611 days in The Program, school can get a little depressing. So much work to do, so many late nights, just hanging on till the end, and that's just how I feel. Andrew is the one actually in school. It's easy to get bogged down and feel like August is light years away. Will we ever get an actual paycheck again? And then how many of those will it take to pay off these student loans? Remembering that there are only 296 days to go helps, but only so much. Today I had a wonderful little reality check.

On Friday evening we're heading up to Spokane for the night so that on Saturday Andrew can sit on the interviewing committee for the applicants to the Medex Spokane Class of 2013. That's pretty cool. Just two short years ago (and also the year before that), Andrew was the one being interviewed, so it's really cool to see him on the other side of the table now.

But today I visited the online Physician Assistant forum that has a section for new applicants and I relived those weeks back in 2008 when Andrew and I were both checking his email every half hour to see if there was an invitation to interview. Then there was the week when we knew acceptance letters were being mailed and I ran out to the mailboxes whenever the mailman drove up. I'm pretty sure he thought I was insane.

Anyway, while reading the questions and comments by this year's applicants on the forum ("What should I wear? How do I prepare for the interview? Congrats on getting an interview! Can you believe it? MEDEX! We're interviewing at MEDEX!") I was suddenly struck with how far we've come, and how close we are to being done. So much has happened since we were the ones biting our nails and waiting for The Phone Call. And more importantly, so many good things have happened since then. We had our darling Eva, the cute little girl who was 1 when we first started looking into PA school is turning 5 next month, and Andrew has done incredibly well through it all. He got the interview. He got the acceptance letter. He got the grades. Now he's getting great feedback from his preceptors. We are so proud of him and so happy to be with him through it all. In light of all that we've come through, August really doesn't seem that far away anymore.

Car conversations...

2010-10-20T17:18:00.000-07:00

On the way home from the grocery store today, two funny things happened. First, Eva was apparently so ravenous that she grabbed the celery out of the bag next to her seat, and before Bella could confiscate it for me she'd broken off a stalk and was munching away on it. I guess I need to give her more at lunchtime. But then Bella, in all her four-year-old-colloquialism-confusing-glory, asked "Evers, are you just starving to life?"

...you know, as opposed to starving to death?

Spaghetti Baby

2010-10-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

Saturday Mornings

2010-10-06T11:36:00.001-07:00

Saturday mornings are precious in our house because they are slow, relaxed, and most importantly these days, Andrew is home! Here's how we like to spend them...

Smoochin' on babies...

Eating yummy yummy food...

Giving big smiles...

Coloring at the table while Mom makes breakfast...

And last but not least, even more big smiles. :)

The Fair

2010-10-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

The fair was a couple of weeks ago and Bella got to go on the Ferris Wheel for the first time. She went with Daddy and loved it, and told me that Sister and I were shrinking while they were on the ride.

Ice Cream

2010-10-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

We met some friends at the park a month or so ago for ice cream sandwiches. It was beautifully sunny and Eva and Chloë turned out to be cute little twins in their brown and white sundresses.

Eva particularly enjoyed rolling around in the dirt.

Trudging along...

2010-09-30T20:21:00.000-07:00

So here's a little update on us. We are, as I mentioned previously, settled in back down here in Moscow. We love this, and whenever we go visit Spokane I have a kind of smirky attitude that says something like, "Ha ha, I escaped when you weren't looking and I'm betting you can't catch me again!" Unfortunately, Spokane has managed to capture my husband because that's where he is for a month doing his surgical clerkship. He gets to come home on the weekends (most of them), and we go to visit him in the middle of the week, but we really don't enjoy being without Daddy. The girls get cranky and whiny, I get cranky and whiny, and it's not a pretty picture. But we trudge along, knowing that the end is in sight and it's all for a good reason. Fortunately, we have a lot of wonderful friends and family down here who have been gracious and hospitable to us and provided wonderful playdates and meals to keep us busy in Andrew's absence. I have, in fact, stayed so busy that I haven't even had a chance to watch the season premiere of Bones, which happens to be my favorite TV show. This is a good thing, and I am happy to have all of the distractions.

For those of you who wanted to know what's going on with Andrew, I'd like to point out his new blog over there in the side bar titled "Primum Non Nocere", where he talks about all the fun stuff he's doing (HIPAA compliant, of course). If you'd prefer the short version, I can tell you that he got thrown into the deep end and is managing to keep his head above water quite well. He's assisted in something like 20+ surgeries so far (probably more...), seen upwards of 50 patients, and has just done an overall amazing job for someone in his first two weeks to ever be in the operating room. We are very proud of him, and that pride makes the long weeks a little easier to handle. After this month he goes to Lewiston to do his Internal Medicine clerkship, then an ER clerkship in Lewiston as well. Then it's Christmas break followed by Orthopedic Surgery here in Moscow/Pullman, then Behavioral Medicine up in Cheney, and then his Inpatient clerkship in a yet-to-be-determined location, and then his 4 month preceptorship which will probably be down in Lapwai. The weeks are long, but I know that next August will be here before we know it and the girls and I will be all dressed up taking pictures with our newly graduated PA in his master's robes.

South Korea?

2010-09-30T20:20:00.000-07:00

Out of curiosity, why are half of my visitors from South Korea?!

Along the same vein, for those of you who haven't noticed yet, there is now a stats page in Blogger. You can see how many visitors you get, when they visit, and where they're from. Like South Korea.

First Ballet Lesson

2010-09-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

Bella started ballet lessons last weekend and absolutely loved it (to the point of breaking down when it was time to leave). Here are the photos (she's easy to spot because she's the only one in a hot pink leotard and black tights and skirt).

Back Home.

2010-09-07T08:52:00.000-07:00

We arrived safely back in Moscow last Saturday, the 28th of August. We're settling in bit by bit and the boxes are gradually finding themselves emptied, broken down, stacked, and waiting to be put away until they are needed again. In case you're wondering, yes, we keep our boxes. We like them. They've been kind to us, and it's super nice to have everything pre-labeled so you know exactly what to put into each box.

The new walls may be white and the blinds may be vertical, but I still love being here. The day we loaded up the U-Haul I kept thinking of Proverbs 15:17 "Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred." It's a bit of a hyperbole, but I draw a connection between our old beautiful condo and the fattened calf. It was glorious and indulgent, but it wasn't home. Here, we have an anemic, cookie-cutter apartment, but there is much love, and I'll take this over 9 1/2 foot ceilings and British hand painted wallpaper any day. Here's a short list of some of the things we love so much about little ol' Moscow.

-You can see a car in the parking lot at WinCo with its lights on, and you know whose it is and can catch up to them inside and let them know.

-WinCo and WalMart are only 5 minutes away.

-Actually, everything is only 5 minutes away.

-All of the policemen wave at us because they recognize our MVFD license plate.

-There are at least 3 church families living within a block of us. Probably 15 within a half mile.

-When someone thinks they hear gunshots, it's almost always fireworks.

-Everywhere I look, there is a memory. That's the street we used to walk down when I was pregnant with Bella. That's the intersection where I totalled my last car. There's the store I used to work at. That's where we got married. That's where our daughters were born. That's where we went to school. That's where we had our first date. That's where...

-Rush hour lasts 5 minutes, and you can count on it coming before 5:00 on a Friday because it's a small town and everybody seems to get off a little early for the weekend.

-If you forgot to call somebody the day before, it's okay because you'll run into them at a football game.

-The unmistakable smell of August on the Palouse.

-The blue bugs that follow in September.

-The wet honey locust leaves stuck to the wood floors at Bucer's in October.

I know it sounds like one of those You Know You're From _____ If.... kinds of lists, but it's all true, and I love it.

Potato Tops

2010-08-26T18:58:00.000-07:00

Bella calls tater tots "Potato Tops". Eva may get most of the photography action, but Bella has a monopoly on humor in the spoken word.

Knockout.

2010-08-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

Striking a pose...

2010-08-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

Crawling away...

2010-08-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

My baby was crawling away from me just a month ago in this picture, and now she can practically run. I love the independence, but it's a little bittersweet.

Manito

2010-08-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

I first visited Manito 9 years ago on a landscape architecture field trip and we've come back every year since. I've loved being so close this past year and we've visited it more often, and Bella even asks to go to the "park with the fishies". These pictures are from just one part of the park - the Japanese Garden. There is also a lilac garden, rose garden, perennial garden, formal garden, conservatory, and duck pond.

We're going to miss this place!

And here's a random shot of Eva at the garden. :)

I'd love one too, Sweetie.

2010-08-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

Triplets

2010-08-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

Bella's friends came over for a dip in the pool, and as it turns out they all matched. Can't you just picture them in about ten years?

Stuck.

2010-08-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

Baby in a Bag

2010-08-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

Bowl & Pitcher

2010-08-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

Now that we have some free time in Spokane we're trying to get out and explore some of the fun stuff the area has to offer. A few weeks ago we took a little hike in Riverside State Park at the Bowl and Pitcher campground.

It was a beautiful day for a hike!

Eva had her first experience in the backpack.

Bella managed to trip in the first 10 minutes and get gravel in her elbows, knees, and lip.

Isn't it gorgeous?

Creepy suspension bridge. I don't like to look down between my feet and see water rushing past. Bella wasn't too fond of it either, especially when the boards would move.

Plans.

2010-08-11T21:39:00.000-07:00

379 days till graduation! Yay!

We're currently packing like crazy for our move back down to Moscow. Our dining room looks like a box/newspaper/bubble wrap factory exploded all over it. We have a lease drawn up for a comfy little apartment with 3 (!) bedrooms on the north end of town, and we're shopping for matching twin beds for the girls. It's crazy, and it's bittersweet.

It's bittersweet for a number of reasons. First of all, it seems like we just did this whole moving thing, and do we really have to do it again already? I do like moving (especially when there is something new and exciting that the new place has, like a 3rd bedroom!), but it seems a little soon. More importantly though, it's oddly difficult to leave Spokane. I love our little urban condo and the fun parks and shopping, but that's about it. I don't like the city, I don't like the crime, I don't like having to drive 30 minutes to get to Wal-Mart and WinCo, and I don't like being away from our friends and family. But I think that Spokane will always hold a special place in my heart because of what it represents. To me it symbolizes PA school and all the hard work that Andrew put into getting accepted and making it through the first year. As someone told Andrew just today, "Wow. I've heard of the PA program at UW but I've never actually met anybody who got in."In the months after Andrew was first accepted, I was so excited because he had worked so hard to get in and I was so proud of him and the fact that his efforts were bringing us here. Now, as we prepare to leave, I am even more proud because of all that he has accomplished in the last year. Driving by campus reminds me of Starbucks deliveries and late-night pick-ups after long study sessions. Driving south on 195 reminds me of Friday afternoons, heading down to Moscow, hearing about that day's workshop and how much Andrew loved it. That restaurant reminds me of the precious handful of dates that we were able to indulge in up here. It's strange to go to Costco and be able to take our time roaming the aisles - shouldn't we be hurrying home so that Andrew can get to studying? Then there are the boxes (plural) of binders and notebooks, full of hundreds of pages of notes and handouts and articles. In some ways I wonder if it's some odd manifestation of Stockholm Syndrome - we've been enslaved by these studies for seventeen months now, and it's hard to say goodbye.

We are, however, thrilled to be heading back to Moscow where all of our friends and family are. And school is far from over - 379 days to go, after all. Andrew is confirmed for two clinicals so far - one month in the ER at St. Joe's down in Lewiston in November, and one month at Eastern State Hospital for his psych rotation in January. Our fingers are crossed for a surgery rotation in Seattle working with a MEDEX alum and four months of family practice down in Lapwai. Being in Moscow will give us the ability to stay somewhat centralized and at least when he's gone the girls and I will have a great community to keep us occupied. And, it will be so great to not have to be living out of a suitcase every other weekend (at least for the girls and I) as we seem to have been for the past year when visiting Moscow. It will be another long year, but I'm sure that next August I'll look back and have to pinch myself to be sure that we're actually done. Our Spokane Exile is just a few weeks from being done, and we will return home. Lord willing, we'll be staying there for a long time. Before we know it, Andrew will have graduated and then Bella will be starting school at our alma mater, just 10 short years after we left. God has been gracious to us, and now we say goodbye to this short part of our lives and look ahead with glad anticipation toward the new blessings He has in store for us.

Grinner

2010-07-31T08:00:00.000-07:00

The Beach!

2010-07-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

We took the requisite trip to the coast when we were in Oregon a few weeks ago. It was foggy, but warm enough and not very windy, so we enjoyed it!

Mom stole foliage from a state park for a flower arrangement...

Bella had fun with the bubbles that Auntie Janice and Uncle Tank got her...

Even though Daddy cuffed up her jeans, she still felt the need to hold them up away from the water.

Evers loved it.

"Pony Spike"

2010-07-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

She doesn't have a pony tail, she has a pony spike.

Teeth!

2010-07-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

She has 6 now (with two more *almost* here), but here's a shot of her with 4 of her lovely pearly whites.

Fun at the Park

2010-07-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

You may recognize this park from this post, way back when.

How She Sleeps

2010-07-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

Clo.

2010-07-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

Bella: So, I was worried that Sister got her clo wet in the pool.

Dad: She got her what wet?

Bella: Her clo! I was worried that she got her clo wet!

Dad: You mean her clothes?

Bella: No, Dad, it was just her one clo! It was her clo!

A bit of background: Eva managed to get into the pool today with her onesie on. Apparently this was distressing to Bella.

Pool Fun

2010-07-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

4th of July

2010-07-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

Reading......sort of.

2010-07-21T10:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we were out shopping and Bella saw the pet store and asked if we could go in. Andrew told her that if she could tell us what the sign said we could go. Bella replied, "I see the sign right there and it says, "Go In!"

Her bad.

2010-07-16T20:40:00.000-07:00

Today Bella spotted a pink convertible and misidentified it as a purple convertible, so we corrected her. She replied with, "Ha ha, sorry, my bad. It was a pink convertible."

Errant lyrics

2010-07-13T09:12:00.000-07:00

We just arrived back from Oregon last night so I have some pictures to share, but for now I'm just going to pass along this little lyric. Every night at Grandma and Grandpa's, Grandma sings songs with Bella before bed. Last night they were singing Amazing Grace, and as Bella sang along with Grandma the lyrics went a bit like this: "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like you." I don't think she quite gets it.

Happy Day!

2010-07-02T08:46:00.000-07:00

I have pictures I could post but the only thing on our minds right now is that Andrew comes home today! He's been gone for 12 days and we are missing him terribly, but he's on I-90 east heading home right now! The girls and I have come to a consensus that 12 days is far too long for Daddy to be gone and we will never let him leave us for this long again. Ever.

Babywearing

2010-07-01T10:07:00.001-07:00

I made my own Hotsling type sling back before Eva was born, but when she got here I realized it was just a little too big, so I put it away and forgot about it (taking in the seam a few inches was apparently too daunting a task to tackle). I pulled it out the other day though and have been using it a lot! It's great for short walks around the neighborhood or quick trips to the store. The Little Darling now weighs 20 pounds so I can't keep her in it for too long, but it's a great way to keep my hands free and keep her happy!

Showers

2010-06-30T09:22:00.000-07:00

I mentioned that one reason for my blogging hiatus was the weekend when I threw two baby showers for some dear friends. As I haven't gotten any recent photos off of my camera lately, I thought I'd share these few from the showers. The first four are from Emily and Afton's shower - they're sisters and I was a bridesmaid in their double wedding a few years ago, so a double baby shower seemed to fit!

And these next ones are from Bess's shower, and I believe I cited the adorableness of her new little girl as one of the other reasons for my blogging hiatus. I co-hosted this one with Katie Rust, a friend from Seattle. She brought along her two year old, Kay, and she and Bella had a great time playing junior hostesses and helping Auntie Bess open all of her presents.

Goofy.

2010-06-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

Party Girl

2010-06-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

Such a big girl!

2010-06-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

What is it with boxes?

2010-06-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

Beauty and the Beast

2010-06-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

Fun in the Sun

2010-06-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

She stands!

Adorable little sausage toes...

Fun at the Park

2010-06-18T20:24:00.000-07:00

Still here...

2010-06-17T13:07:00.000-07:00

We're not dead, I promise. The daily postings stopped when I came down to Moscow to host two baby showers in one weekend, and then we just never got them going again. I have lots of pictures, but I never think to upload them until the girls are in bed in the room where the camera cable is stored! But school is done and Andrew finished strong (as usual) and we're enjoying a week off now before he heads to Seattle for 11 days or so. We've been enjoying time with family and friends and have especially enjoyed welcoming Miss Chloë Ann, the girls' pseudo-cousin, daughter of our friends Bryan and Bess, into the world. She's such a precious little thing, and I don't think anybody can get quite enough of her adorable cuteness. So, hang in there for a few more days until I can get my act in gear and upload some photos!

And for the last time....

2010-06-07T13:18:00.000-07:00

Helloooooo finals week! We've come to our seventh and final week of exams for the didactic portion of PA school, and it is so exciting! We know that around 11 on Thursday morning Andrew will be done with finals and ready to embrace summer wholeheartedly, but we're having trouble believing it! There are still 444 days to go till graduation, but no more class. Now it's just a few short summer sessions, some half-time online stuff for his Master's track, and then a year of clinicals. And speaking of clinicals, the latest estimations are that we may be doing all but one or two of them in the Moscow/Lewiston area which could mean that we'd be moving back down to Moscow sooner than we'd expected. We're trying not to get too excited at this prospect since they can technically tell us on Friday that we have to be in some remote clinical setting in Alaska by Monday (and we can't say no!), but there is a definite possibility that we'll be back on the Palouse this fall. So please pray that we can finish strong and that all of Andrew's clinicals would fall neatly into place so that we can be back in Moscow this Fall!

The Becker Family

A comparison...

Pregnancy Progression

Christmas 2011

Light and life to all He bringsRisen with healing in His wingsMild He lays His glory byBorn that man no more may dieBorn to raise the sons of earthBorn to give them second birth

Merry Christmas, little Amara!

Our Son!!

Pathos

Thanksgiving!

16 Weeks!

Little Update

Heartbeats

Andrew A. Becker, PA-C, ATC, EMT-B/ABC

Food.

Testing Day!

Worth It.

8 wks 6 days!

Appointment Tomorrow!

7 Weeks

Cutting the Strings

Becker Baby #4!

The ol' Bait and Switch

Bronchiolitis

Decent.

Almost There!

Amara Christian Becker

If Only.

Such Sincerity.

Young Love

Zombies!

2 Big Girls

Busy busy busy....

Teddy Bear Clinic

"Yes?"

Our Girls.

"Where do you guys live?!"

Poor baby.

Cutie Pie

Bella

The Pooch.

Cutie Pie

200!

Her words.

Oregano Muffins

Snow!

Lewiston Lights

Admiration

5th Birthday Party

Christmas Tree!

Christmas Cookies

Thanksgiving.

Andrew's 28th!

Halloween

Fall at the Arboretum

Five Years!

Happy News!

Perspective

Car conversations...

Spaghetti Baby

Saturday Mornings

The Fair

Ice Cream

Trudging along...

South Korea?

First Ballet Lesson

Back Home.

Potato Tops

Knockout.

Striking a pose...

Crawling away...

Manito

I'd love one too, Sweetie.

Triplets

Stuck.

Baby in a Bag

Bowl & Pitcher

Plans.

Grinner

The Beach!

"Pony Spike"

Light and life to all He brings
Risen with healing in His wings
Mild He lays His glory by
Born that man no more may die
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth