Becker Baby #4!

I love the LORD, because He has heard
         My voice and my supplications.
Because He has inclined His ear to me,
         Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.
      
The pains of death surrounded me,
         And the pangs of Sheol laid hold of me;
         I found trouble and sorrow.
Then I called upon the name of the LORD:
         “O LORD, I implore You, deliver my soul!”
      
Gracious is the LORD, and righteous;
         Yes, our God is merciful.
The LORD preserves the simple;
         I was brought low, and He saved me.
Return to your rest, O my soul,
         For the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.
 

    
What shall I render to the LORD
         For all His benefits toward me?
I will take up the cup of salvation,
         And call upon the name of the LORD.
I will pay my vows to the LORD
         Now in the presence of all His people.
      
Precious in the sight of the LORD
         Is the death of His saints.
      
O LORD, truly I am Your servant;
         I am Your servant, the son of Your maidservant;
         You have loosed my bonds.
I will offer to You the sacrifice of thanksgiving,
         And will call upon the name of the LORD.
      
I will pay my vows to the LORD
         Now in the presence of all His people,
In the courts of the LORD’s house,
         In the midst of you, O Jerusalem.
      
         Praise the LORD!

   -Psalm 116, 1-7, 12-19

I honestly never thought that I would be writing a post like this so closely on the heels of the memorial I wrote for our precious little Amara. But, God delights in surprising us and heaping the greatest blessings on our heads when we feel at our lowest. We found out last Tuesday that we are pregnant again! And trust me, I don't think anyone is more in awe of this than Andrew and I! We were given the go ahead from our doctor to start trying again right away, but after the more than two years that it took us to get pregnant with Eva we never thought that we would be the couple who manages to get pregnant so fast. So needless to say, I was in complete shock when I saw this!

Obviously, we are far from out of the woods with this one. We've even had some signs that could indicate an impending miscarriage, but I've had my hormone levels checked and things are looking pretty good as far as that goes. But, this is certainly a very guarded kind of excitement. We are painfully aware of the fact that there are no guarantees in pregnancy - our scars are still very, very fresh. So why are we announcing this when I'm not even 5 weeks along?

After Amara's death, our conviction that babies are babies no matter what size they are was only strengthened. Of course we always believed that unconditionally, but after having experienced the very short life of one of these precious babies, it hit home in a brand new way. So, today we're announcing to the world our fourth child. Praise God! No matter what happens in the coming weeks or months, we are a family of six, and delighted to be so. We don't know yet which sibling this baby will meet first, Amara or Bella & Eva? But either way, he or she will be with our family and it will blessed by God. What more can we ask for?

We're also announcing this one early because we covet your prayers. We really covet your prayers. As exciting as this all is, it is extremely terrifying as well. Every day is its own long journey to get through, and we are thankful at the end of every day that this sweet child is still with us. Some moments we are just elated beyond belief, and in others I am paralyzed with fear. I couldn't even call the lab on Friday to get the results from my blood draw because I was so terrified that it would be bad news, so I asked Andrew to call for me. Fortunately the results were very good, and so the tears started all over again, this time from joy. But please, pray for us whenever you see us, whenever you think of us, and any other chance you get in between! Rejoice with us in the new life of this little one as you grieved with us in the death of our sweet Amara, and please pray that we would trust God and that He would preserve the life of this baby.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.
 

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.
 

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.
 

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

-William Cowper